What’s the most difficult relationships to maintain? Friendship. All since childhood I moved around and every time the friends I had I left behind. It became a habit to cut off and move on. You know when you find a new soul mate in a friend and you’re like ‘in love’ in a friendship kind of way? I had many of those, but they never last. All passed except for one.
What do you need friends for I wonder. Not that I need reasons, but when I think a little deeper, is it to have someone to talk to? I never felt a need for that. I like writing. Do I need friends to help me when I’m struggling? Well, isn’t that strange to want to have friends in order to have a mental safety net…. And for that, you cannot trust anyone… We all go through it. When those you think are your friends are more strangers than your strangers.
Everyone in Los Angeles says they have no real friends. They’re all lonely they say. Everyone is fake. Or you cannot trust anyone. And by living here because I love it here my opinion is it’s not true. I am not fake.
I wonder, what kind of friend am I. Can I even be someone’s friend? How long is the trial period for a new friend before you know that whatever you say or do is kept private? I mean, I’ve been blown away a few times, surprised to say the least on how people change. Each time it does get a bit harder to be open and show interest to befriend someone for real. I’m not talking facebook friends. Not talking acquaintances either. I mean friends you are 100% loyal to, friends you’d die for.
You get tired of telling your story for new friends. Every new becomes a new chapter and in a way it’s a relief you can be whoever you want and the past is the past. On the other hand, there’s no ‘we go back a long time’.
Real friendship must go through good and bad times. You need to love and you need to hate and still be around for each other. It’s nothing you find every day. Not many times in a lifetime either.
For me, if you’re my true friend and our friendship ends, all you told me and all you shared will always be sacred. Doesn’t matter you let me down or stabbed me in the back. Secrets are secrets. Private matters are private matters. I take pride in how I am as a friend. And even though you don’t return the favor, it’s what friendship is to me.