Yesterday morning woke up, did my first cardio session in quiet. I was so fed up with my music I rather did not listen to anything. Some times I enjoy listening to the wheezing sounds from the treadmills, the iron that clashes together in the bench press area and to my own breathing. It cleanses my mind. I have noticed a new sensation too when I am less motivated to train: the lactic acid the first few minutes on the machine before the aerobic system kicks in…. It’s a true sign my muscles are pretty depleted from all the new extra work.

So, yesterday in the silent cardio hour I thought about the past and how I usually approached cardio and how I got leaner and leaner as I got older. My first years competing in Sweden I was into the endless powerwalking because the gyms were closed and I followed the stream. The Scandinavians really bought that fatburning concept lol… I however did not, so the later “stockholm years” when I was prepping for my pro debut in San Francisco I rememeber I did sprints outdoors when it was 5 degrees fahrenheit (-15 C) My bronchi tighten up, I  couldn’t breathe because the mucus turned into a jelly mess due to the cold. Another stupid thing I practiced was jogging it that cold climate, slip and slide mode on the ice spots on the bridges of Stockholm… And that is how I ended up with my two frost bites that now show up as scarrs on two right fingers every time it gets a little little chilly here in sunny, pretty warm LA….. I got lean though.

So when I came to America, the big change was not the training, it was my approach to food in general. It was really like this: as soon as I put my feet on the American soil I stopped eating what I should not eat. Of course it got me leaner! I never did more than maybe top one hour morning cardio for my pro shows. And I competed around 110 to 116 every time. I don’t know, I was just smaller, not leaner than now…. During one part of my life here I was on a hectic schedule where I was up for work at 3.30 am for 5 days a week and I could not sleep at all… That year I was pretty small and stressed with a horrible temper! It was after this phase when my every day life slowed down in a positive way I suddenly grew more muscular. the year of 2009 was my growing season it seems now in after thought.

I still recollect those two special occasions when an inner voice told me “the truth”. First, as I was walking to Golds one morning, I was in a bad mood feeling that typical “why do I have to do THIS much and I am so fed up with it!!!” when it suddenly hit me: I choose this for myself. How can I not cherish it and still do it? I am wasting my time if I don’t see the purpose of doing it. If I cannot learn to enjoy the process even though it is a draining process or an necessary evil, I am wasting my precious time on earth doing it. This inner voice told me to learn to love it or stop doing it. And since I refused to be a soft-body I just accepted and said “ok Boss” to the voice.

The second epiphany I got running on the beach. I was close to Santa Monica Pier I recollect. I suddenly got this feeling of all needs for bad foods and wishes to some day eat it without paying the consequences disappear, I realized that it would never be a part of my every day life as long as I wanted to live my life as I wanted to live it. It may sound weird, but I just realized how “for nothing” following impulses are, how little it adds to your positive experiences and how much it impacts your sense of self worth to give in and just settle for not feeling or looking as great…..

I am so happy I had these two experiences….. It showed me the way how I should approach my philosophy. My desires for unnecessary things got deleted. And I felt an amazing relief, like a big burden was taken off my shoulders….

YEsterday I did cardio for a second round just to burn a few more calories on the amount of calories I set up for myself to burn each day. And then a third workout pm. I also did weights. I did shoulders hard, back I worked out well and my butt moves. To cut to the chase on what I do right now is:

LOTS of cardio, heavy training for shoulders, back. Butt exercises except for the big muscle builders Deadlifts and Squats. I feel great. Except for my tiredness but that will past after some rest and a refeed! Hope I get down to 115 after xmas for my cover shoot the 21st of January.