A little more than a year ago, November 6th 2009 to be precise, was the day when I made the decision it was time to change my body. After a decade of hardcore training to build as much muscle as possible while staying as lean as possible and without the assistance of any performance enhancing drugs, I found myself in the middle of a photo shoot realizing I had grown out of my frame. It was a shock. I was in shock. I had always believed I could never be “too big” as long as I dieted hard year round and never touched steroids. I thought my female genetics, strenuous cardio regimen and lack of surplus calories were going to halt muscle growth, but I was wrong in my case. Somehow my body matured over that year of 2009 and I just got “too massive”. I know it sounds silly, I was “massive” at 121, but that was 7 lbs over my contest weight and it was not a gain in fat. It was dense muscle.

I remember I felt heavy. I didn’t feel light. I was “over weight” for my frame. So I decided to slim down and spent months to shed weight and it was not easy. With a body well familiar with daily cardio workouts, used to strict dieting, add my genetically slow metabolism and you’d find me doing extreme amounts of work in order to encourage weight loss. After 11 weeks my discipline and commitment started to show. And on the 13 weeks’ mark I was back at 114, where I used to be when competing. After that it was maintaining. Which is not as easy as it sounds. Maintaining a lower set point after weight loss is tricky: your body is NOT a furnace, you are NOT burning more calories because you are leaner. No, your body has become more efficient due to lower metabolism which is inevitable to some extent when trying to shed those last pounds. So the last year I was constantly fighting my body’s will go gain those pounds back. Mostly I was mentally freaked out to grow out of my size again cause last time I didn’t see it coming, I didn’t pay attention, I was sure I couldn’t grow with my unpaying attention to carbs post workout, eating 7 meals a day… I didn’t do that anymore and still I got those muscles… And no, it was not a luxury problem because those pounds of muscle did not help me stay leaner, oh no. Those pounds didn’t allow me to eat more. The experience during that photo shoot when I found myself too big and blocky scared the crap out of me, it was awful, I felt like I created a monster, no way did I want to find myself in that position again. Over night I switched focus and all I wanted was to stream down and create a more flowing physique.

In June I had another big photo shoot. Down at 113 I was happy with my new look. I was proud. I was “back”. My body and I were a team again. Then after this I guess my body wanted to bump that weight up again. And of course it did, cause I started to train heavier and heavier, got excited about weekly big strength increases… i forgot it stimulated that muscle memory…. So then some weeks I felt like that sausage again, then next week I felt tiny, scrawny and “skinny fat”.

Yeah it’s been a year of struggling between me and my body…

Today I had another important shoot. This time Film, not stills. I went in there, not knowing how I’d like my body and one side of me was super relieved I didn’t find myself “too big”, on the other hand I wondered if I lost all muscle and kept all fat…. And then wondered if I was too skinny….. Wow, when would I stop wondering, I wonder. It’s the old bodybuilding mentality you see… Whatever you do it’s never perfect! Which is what I love about it too…. The thing is, I love when I wear regular clothing and I can camouflage my body and just look “lean and slender”. I can only pull that look off with the amount of muscle I carry if I stay ultra lean. Said and done. On the other hand, I have a hard time swallowing the fact I am not as big anymore. Isn’t it funny? I worked to get smaller and tighter, then when I acknowledge I reached that goal, I don’t know how to handle it.

I loved doing the Biggest Loser show in Sweden. I love being in front of the camera. I’m working hard on getting my fitness show picked up. And with my old body I’d come across as too big. Now I don’t. And you cannot change the world, you can only change yourself. So, I feel better, I feel more beautiful smaller, my body feels great… but still it’s tough to see I actually AM smaller even when I got smaller on purpose. Crazy, huh…..

Some times it’s hard to remember old strength personal records or old workout weights and realize I am no way near that anymore. On purpose I taught myself how to train smarter, putting more isolating tension on the right muscles and less on all the rest of the body, I pushed myself to do better range of motion, better form, more intensity. And of course this transformed my physique to the better, elongated, flowing physique. Less bulk in the wrong places, more in the places I wanted. It took lots of mental toughness to walk away from what I was used to and what gave me the body I had gotten so far. I was scared of changing. But I did it. I took the leap of faith. And am I happy now, or what! It’s the best decision I’ve taken for my body and image so far. I returned to my signature characteristic: being a chameleon.

The biggest obstacle to reaching higher and higher goals is being comfortable. Staying where you feel safe and know what you get is what stops you from going further than everyone else. My body and my training took me to where I am today, but at one point it would have stopped me if I had not been brave enough to change. Look around and you find many people who are trapped in the “gym rat” lifestyle, scared of going somewhere where training facilities/diet options are limited cause it could cause their regimen to get interrupted. But that’s also why you need to take on those challenges: to get interrupted. Stuck in a rut is dangerous for personal growth.

I have been in many “less than perfect situations” training and diet wise. I’ve worked with what I’ve had many times. My overall goals were always on top of my working out. However I never settled for less than optimal training. I sacrificed a lot. Now is another era, I am not scared of changes. I have confidence in my body. It was and is my tool to get to where I want. It should stay that way and never turn into a big rock lying in the way of my goals.

Life goes in circles. You initiate a journey, you get thrown off the designated path here and there, you break against the wind, find new strength, keep going and then… the Big Reward. It’s the closing and completion of the circle. When all you’ve done up to that point suddenly falls into place like a big puzzle, it’s when you look back and realized “yes, I was right, I knew this was coming, it was just not the right time until now. And now it’s here.

I’ve always been goal driven. My goals and desired achievements have been clear as glass. But then, the older I get the blurrier they become. Not as in losing focus, but as in seeing the big picture and not the details from A to B. It’s one again the journey, not the final destination.

Lately, I’ve had more puzzle pieces put into place than normal. The rate it’s all coming together at is rapid. It’s exciting. And I am just so happy. I’ve been working for this every day day in day out year after year. I’ve been close so many times. But close is not closing the deal! I think about it and get goose bumps allover, realizing that every thing I’ve done has had its reason. I knew it, but now it was proven.

I feel this is my time. I am approaching what I’ve been wanting for so long. I’m entering the world I’ve been hovering around for a long time. And it’s all so meant to be. I worked for this. I put blood, sweat and tears into this. I’m shutting doors to the past, throwing away the keys, not looking back. it’s a new era.  It’s my turn. It’s my turn. This time it’s truly my time.

I know that green lettuce and kale are powerful sources of antioxidants but I still don’t get myself to eat it. Why? cause there is MORE to it than “optimal nutrition”. There is something called taste buds and if you don’t like a food why on earth ever eat it? I respect my taste for things, I don’t eat what I don’t like because I believe it’s not digested as well if you cannot stand a food.

I know that the “perfect” amount of cardio might be three short intense sessions a week. Still, no way am I doing that. I am doing way more. Is it over training? yeah if it was to perform better, yes. But I am doing lots of exercise to stay in shape, not to be the best marathon runner in the world.

I don’t CARE yoga is a great kind of exercise. I am still not interested. No, it’s not the same as just stretching. But I like stretching. I like old regular gym teacher style stretching. And I’m not doing it PNF style: Yeah, it’s the best method it’s said, but I still don’t do it.

Yes I do some dangerous movements/exercises. I know the risks. It’s called calculated risks.

Being super ripped day in and day out as a woman is not the healthiest way to live, BUT it’s way healthier than being unfit, smoke or eat junk. I also know I’m way healthier than most, but if I were to strive for optimum health no matter what I’d have to cut back on training, cut back on stress etc. Not gonna happen.

I find it funny how most people find a super ripped look “attainable” and consider it being the healthy body ideal. It’s not. Your body likes a bit extra fat. If you don’t, then you gotta exercise more.

I’m over all “superfoods”. Get it, acai, cacao, honey, maca, olive oil, coconut, spirulina etc etc have calories. They will not go through your system without adding calories to your diet. Of course you will energized when you eat them: you get more calories from sugars, silly!!!

I am fed up with people wanting extreme results with minimum effort. When you think an hour of hard cardio is too much, or dieting for months strict is outrageous, please lower your ideals to something more appropriate.

I just love one thing about sculpting a body to perfection: impatience, laziness and inconsistency will get you NOWHERE. You cannot buy it haha! BUSTED! You cannot even rush it either! And if you do it will soon be taken away from you again anyway. Trying to obtain something fast too will just result in a rebound effect. Understand this: a hard body cannot be bought, cannot be held unless you maintain it. Not having the time? Ok, move over to something else, this is clearly too difficult for YOU. Try chess instead.

I love seeing new places so traveling is a fun and pleasant part of my life. Right now I am in Paris and what better than writing about traveling and staying in incredible shape…
“It’s three months to my show so I am omitting all distractions and interruptions to focus 100% on this”. Heard that one before? Well, get real. To me, my life is a constant “contest prep”. I train, diet and abstain from many common “soul foods” and “treats” to be lean 365 days of the year. This doesn’t mean I don’t travel, that would be insane! So, if you are worrying about not being able to keep up good habits when on the road/traveling to new countries, you gotta start practicing. Distraction to the daily routine is GOOD. You grow from it.

On this trip I realized that the Frenchmen in Paris have a club for Krav Maga practice in every corner, but none of the gyms have a power rack or promote real leg training! Here is an abundance of “disco gyms” loaded with all kinds of machines, but I have yet to see a a squat rack. So what happened, you think I went crazy for not being able to exactly what I want? Of course not. I am a professional! I know how to overload all my body with minimum equipment. I know how to make it heavy! So I ended up with fantastic workouts and got sore too.
The atmosphere is very different in the gyms here. Not the same ‘excitement” in the air at all, which of course infects every visitor including me. However not being motivated is not the same as not being productive. I did my cardio. I did my workouts. Were all that fun? No, but not all are at home either!

I’ve been walking for 6 hours sightseeing per day, seen most of the “downtown Paris”. I love the metro, love the pulse. And I’m in love with having to use my french! For every day it gets a little less rusty and I can tell that if I moved over I’d be fluent very fast! I learned that starting a conversation in french instead of initiating with a “parlez-vous Englais?” out of convenience, really helped to get help from the locals. And that I needed. Customs crushed my wheat bran bags so I had none. To find new was very difficult because thee French seem to be big on oat bran but not wheat bran. Eventually I found a natural food store where the wheat bran was OUT. Lucky me they had more in storage in a big bag! It felt like xmas eve after days of abstinence!

Restaurants… Well, if you can choose what you order then you’re good. I went Japanese and ordered IKA sashimi. I managed to get info on how many oz of fish meat the portion was, but let me tell you it was not easy to communicate on school french with japanese “no English and not good french” staff.  What would I have done if I had to eat at a normal restaurant and couldn’t make “a scene” by saying no to all food? (Some times you shouldn’t stick to your ideals, like when having important business meetings and you could ruin closing a deal if not showing you are somewhat “normal”). Well, I would go by super portion control. I know calories, I know what food sizes are like. I would pick the lowest calorie dish, make some needed alterations (nothing super complicated) and then really go by “you cannot get fat from what you don’t eat”, meaning I’d estimate the calories by eating a very small portion. You see, calorie control is a very good short term concept IF you have the discipline. I do. Why I don’t recommend portion control instead of my FD concept is: 1. you get hungry  2. You run the risk of getting malnourished with the small amount of food you have if you choose the wrong, fatty, non nutritious foods for you daily menu. 3. Most people have no interest in learning, accepting and practicing portion control.

I live in a great apartment with a kitchen. I eat green beans with sea salt and canned pink salmon every night. Yeah, it’s a gooood trip!;-)

Hello! Did you just find out you’d love to have a chiseled midsection, a butt that stays UP and firm, toned legs? Got yourself a workout regimen and waiting to rock the boat?

If you are a complete stranger to dieting and have no idea about what it takes to get that “just a bit athletic, not a bodybuilder type physique”, here is a short guide to cut to the chase:

In order to get visible muscle tone, you first of all need that muscle mass. It might be covered under the smooth layer of fat you got but unless you’ve been working out consistently or have fantastic athletic genes you won’t have enough muscle to support a “defattening procedure” or “leaning out”.

You get the muscle by training with weights. Any physical training will stimulate some muscle building, but the most efficient and dramatic effect you get from working out old school weight training. If the weight is not challenging your body won’t change from puffy to toned. Don’t be scared of using “big weights” cause they won’t turn you into the Hulk. Believe me you are not a gene mutated human being who has 100 times more effective muscle growth potential than the rest of us.

Now, with weights you shape the muscle FORM. With cardio training you melt off the fat layer on top of the muscle which hides the muscles from the eye. When you do cardio you want to breathe heavy, it should be challenging. This is when your body needs to adapt and create many tiny “fat burning engines” in your muscle bellies that burn fat for you. The better the cardio, the better the fat burning potential throughout the whole day.

When it comes to food you need to pay attention to what you eat. You see, just wanting to be thin takes some portion control and calorie control. However, that will not give you a lean look. Portion control means you eat a little bit of everything maybe but you pay close attention to how much and how many servings per day. It will usually keep people at a decent shape unless you have no control of your portions!

But you don’t want average, you want more, right? Six pack? Lean arms? Toned thighs? Then you must provide your body with not only calories but the right kind of calories. You see, a serving of junk food will give your fat cells energy but will give your muscles nothing to work with. 200 calories from french fries will make you smooth and jiggly but 200 calories from protein like egg whites, fish or protein shakes will make you lean and increase your metabolism.

So, why cannot you just eat healthy you wonder? Because healthy does not mean “getting fewer calories than you burn” and that you need to keep track of if you want to reshape your body. Whole grain bread, whole grain pasta, nuts, olive oil, sourdough bread, fruit, lentils, beans, salmon etc are all healthy foods but they provide lots of calories in small servings. And the thing is: when you are working on losing fat you will get hungry! And if you choose food that give many calories on a small amount of food volume wise, you will not get full or feel satisfied.

If you eat a lot of carbs, even healthy ones like fruit, muesli, brown rice, sweet potatoes etc, you are giving your body instant energy. That way there is no need to start using fat from your body fat to fuel your activities. Carbs also release most of the fat-storing hormone insulin which tells your body to store energy instead of burning it. This is not the only problem: eating lots of carbs means you need to reduce fats or protein to stay within a good calorie level that induces fat loss. Too little fat and you won’t ever feel full, your hair will be dry, your skin too and your hormones will plummet. Too little protein and you will break down muscle or not rebuild what you got.

Eating only protein and fats is a bad idea because you will feel awful. You won’t be able to train with intensity and that you need in order to shape your body! It’s not healthy to eat no vegetables and no fiber. It causes inflammation. And you will be constipated. That doesn’t make a happy camper!;-)

Fats are great energy and nuts are healthy, but eating them means you are getting loads of calories in tiny portions. Fats can be converted to body fat instantly too if you are not using them for fuel, so they are easier to store than carbs or protein.

If you are a person who just hates to follow a regimented “boring” diet concept which is void of all the “normal” foods normal people eat and thus look pretty boring normal too, well, then you can go ahead and practice portion control. However, don’t get annoyed if it takes you so far, but then the last pounds will not go away without stricter rules.

There is a reason why people who eat “normal” don’t look “spectacularly athletic”: because to look spectacularly athletic you need to diet stricter than normal people do. Kinda easy to get that, no?

The biggest problem people have when they find out they want to look like fitness models is: they don’t want to do what it takes. Yeah, working out maybe, but that’s the easy part! Especially if you eat plenty to train hard! But when it’s time to strip off body fat, uhm, not so fun anymore, huh! Do yourself a favor: stop looking for an easy way out, stop using jenny craig or other stupid programs that will make you deficient of nutrients from fresh veggies etc. The most important thing to take care of when you want to lean out and then KEEP the weight off is to follow a concept that enables you to feel full and eat til you are not hungry anymore. There is just one concept I know of that takes that into consideration: FIGHTER DIET. It’s not a fun fun program with fantastic meal concoctions and super duper chocolate bars for snacks like opti meal and the other candy bars they try to sell you as “nutrition bars”, BUT it does work wonders. It does.

yeah yeah yeah, You all think I’m a big cookie hater but I’m not, it’s just I don’t support the regular conventional cookie associations and their unions! There are several flaws with cookies and baked goods: Full of sugar. Filled with artery clogging fats. Rich in calories. Don’t satisfy your hunger. Don’t provide important nutrients unless you happen to be starving and need all food you can get your hands on!

However I didn’t say I don’t LIKE cookies just because I don’t EAT them. Yeah, you saw it, you read it, I do not eat regular cookies. EVER. Got a problem with it? I’m sorry but there won’t be any “coming out of the closet” announcing “YES, I DID EAT THE COOKIE LAST NIGHT”. I know, in your dreaaaams, I know you so want me to have those cravings and needs and desires to eat the same fat encouraging crap you choose to, but I don’t. I’m over it. That phase when you want and cannot see beyond instant gratification is long time gone.

Yes I do remember they taste good. But so what? I also remember it was nice being in Mexico last year or the massage I got yesterday was excellent. I just don’t live by my taste buds! The less crap you eat the less you want it. The better you eat the more you crave the good!

I love my pancakes and fiber bread concoctions. But I don’t like the side effects of what those foods would give me if I were to eat it THE CONVENTIONAL VERSIONS daily. And yeah I know “you can have a little bit” but it’s not the point because if I were to have “a little bit” of all the stuff YOU eat I would LOOK more like YOU and not like ME. Nothing wrong with not wanting a sixpack or striations and no jiggle, but for me, I WANT IT. So stop asking me about my late night cravings. Which I kill by using SMART strategies:

FD FIBER

NUTRA FIBER FLAKES

MY FAKE NOODLES

if you don’t get full and happy with these you are in for some major trouble! These kill the biggest appetite and cravings!